Terribly Sick Mike = Hilarious Story

I was kind of jealous of the Zukks and Ben for having really funny and intense stories, but I should have been careful what i wished for because now I have one too. So yesterday I went to the school cafeteria for lunch and got my normal sandwich. However they had to go into the back room to get some of the ingredients. I figured I was getting the freshest food in the place and was really excited. Boy was I wrong. So everything was going according to plan and I finished up some work with a few friends and planned a little bit of spring break and then on my way home I began to feel terrible. I felt a little nauseous, but thought nothing of it and just went home and acted normally. Then, like an hour before dinner, so like 8pm I began to feel even worse. I suddenly had no appetite and got pretty tired. I figured it was just me being pretty tired and the sandwich was kind of big so maybe I shouldn't have been too hungry. Then dinner came and we had this lasagna with bechamel sauce and BBQ sauce in it. It is usually one of my favourite dishes, but not this time. I began to get really nauseous and wonder how people eat this much sauce. Then every commercial involving food seemed disgusting. That is when i realized something was wrong. I finished the lasagna and ate half of my salad. Pilar asked me what was wrong because usually I eat everything on the plate. I told her I wasn't really that hungry. After dinner I felt even worse. So I went into the bathroom and took a devastating poop. Not a normal poo either. I felt so much better after it though and I thought that the bad food or whatever it was had passed. Then right as I was making plans to go out, I got hit with another wave of nauseousness. I was determined to go out but knew I had to throw up whatever it was that was making me feel this terrible. So I told my friend, who lives right next door, to meet me outside in 10 minutes. My plan was to go outside like I was going out like any other night, then go to the park behind my apartment and throw up and then go out, because god forbid what Pilar would think if she saw me throw up and then go out in the same night. So I was getting ready to go out and I realized I had less than one minute before I was to throw up. I took off my jacket and briskly walked to the bathroom which is right next to the living room, where Pilar and her daughter Cristina were watching TV. I got into the bathroom and immediately threw up two times. As some of you guys already know, I am a pretty silent vomitter and I am pretty sure neither of them heard me. I brushed my teeth, washed my hands, and went outside to meet Millie. At that point I was feeling on top of the world, so I thought that I would be fine. Well, we got driven to the bar by one of my friends' host sisters who is really cool. The place is called Chupitos, which means shots. A perfect place for a sick person to go out and drink in. So I felt a lot better and I knew that since there was absolutely nothing in my stomach, only a small amount of alcohol would get me pretty drunk. I had 2 shots, and a beer and stopped there. Within thirty minutes, I felt like death and all of the girls who I went with were hammered drunk. I decided to go back and catch the last 1:30 metro. While walking towards the metro my body started to become extremely weak. Now another fact about me: I tend to pass out when I get very sick and the first symptom I feel when this happens is that my body feel weak. I figured it was only a matter of time before I passed out. I hightailed it to the metro and caught the first train. Then at the station where I have to transfer trains, I felt another vom session coming on. I looked up at the screen that tells you how long it will be until the next train comes. Well, it said 10 minutes. I was heartbroken and decided to lay down and keep it together. I called Tina and talked to her for a bit to pas the time. Then, 2 minutes before the train arrived, my body said "that's it everyone out" and 9 proceeded to vomit twice into the paper recycling bins where you are suppposed to put newspapers. I was aware at how funny it would be the next day, but at the same time, it was 1:30 in the morning and everyone in the metro station probably thought I was extremely drunk. Luckily only one person saw. I got on the train and made it to my stop. I got to my apartment and fell alseep. When I wokkeup my whole body was aching and when I told Pilar how I felt, (Pilar is a retired doctor) she immmediately went out to the store and got anti-dehydration medication, and broughta tray of plain noodles to my bed. I have only left my bed to brush my teeth and go to the bathroom today and probably won't again until dinner. Now everytime Pilar walks past my room she asks me how I feel and if I am going to throw up and how my poop is. Haha. I am sorry this blog is so long, but I had nothing better to do in my bed all day and it was a long story. I'll let you know how everything turned out when I get better. Peace